I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
