We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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