): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He has the fingertips of a God
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