Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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