Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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