that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
