Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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