I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
