just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
