sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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