wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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