A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
