with your own penis?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
