and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So many bounce houses so little time
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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