who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
