Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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