so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
someone owes me an orgasm
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
