i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am one with the molecules
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
