don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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