I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
