My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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