I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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