The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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