Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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