Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
