I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
