we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
