what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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