my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
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