I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
