go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
