i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
