Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We talked him into tasing himself.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
