I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
