I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
