look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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