I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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