my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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