end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
