Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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