YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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