how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
