By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize