im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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