my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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