I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
