So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
