i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
