I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
