He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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