end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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