Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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