I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my shit smells like andre
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
