Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We are all done wearing pants today
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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