cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
