you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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