My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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