I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
