i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize