Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize