We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
did i just pee glitter
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
