why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
