The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
