just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Boobs speak an international language.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
