I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
