Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
