I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
