Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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